I have found that in the multitude of my sins, He is patient. I am surrounded by clamor and noise, yet His voice quiets me. The strange thing is He has never yelled, never raised His voice in anger; never threatened to abandon or leave me to my own devices. He calls my name in the night. I hear His counsel on my pillow as He instructs me in my meditations, and I can’t help but start to apologize. I ramble incessantly about how stubborn a daughter I am, how I feel I have disappointed Him, simply that I fall short of His goodness. And He waits. He then continues from where He left off, His tone unchanged and unphased by my apology.

Wait — He is unphased by my apology. I mean He is God; He knew it was coming. Or maybe He has heard it too many times and is undistracted by my noise and many words that fail to deter Him from His resolution. A long time ago my Father decided I was worthy of life and that my weaknesses were not strong enough to separate us. He told me before to look up at Him and know that even the ordinary things I do are supplied by a strength external to me. It is God when I lift up my head; God when I reach forth my hand; and God when I hear His counsel in the night.

If only I would listen more intently in the daytime. Then I would learn how to discern His voice above everyone else. Then I could make my way pure because He would be guiding me in the now. Maybe, I would find a strength beyond my own, that allows me to endure despite all the weaknesses I claim to myself and see that my flesh has no business being God. What if I really walked with Him everywhere and didn’t keep Him hidden in my room? Then I would openly embrace God’s love and see myself past the multitude of my sin. You see unconditional love knows no shame. So what have you got… brokenness, emptiness, complacence, fear? Because I am convinced that nothing shall be
able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 8: 38-39); His love knows no boundary, and shame is no exception. It is time we see ourselves, through the lenses of God that look beyond the shame because there is more… Or rather, He is the more.

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