Friend or Foe?

An ancient African adage says, “If you want to go fast, go alone; but if you want to go far, go together.” This quote speaks to the fact that relationships, especially the Godly kind, are one of the most vital necessities for every human being. Relationships are so crucial that when Almighty God finished His wonderful creation of all things in six days, He reviewed everything and gave His stamp of approval that everything was all “good,” except for the part where He realized that the man He created was alone and in need of a relationship! God’s intention for man is not to be a completely independent and isolated being but a social being with many diverse forms of relationships including friendships! There are many definitions and ideologies of who a friend is or should be like; however, the best definition for a friend is found in the Bible. 

“There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 NLT 

In light of the She Empowered Conference this past weekend (if you missed it, please catch the replay on YouTube), we learned that as we grow and mature in life, the craving for millions of “friends” must diminish and be replaced by the desire for those who have crossed over from just friends, and have become family! Both the Bible and Pastor Monica Aryitey highlight the obvious truth that there is a clear delineation between a friend and a true friend! 

“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves.” Matthew 7:15 NLT

The context of this Scripture is false prophets as clearly stated; however, this parallel truth can be used in the context of relationships as well. Sometimes, it is difficult discerning those who are our true friends and those who are foes, simply because although they may be vicious wolves, they may come masked with sheep clothing. Pastor Monica provided a wonderful litmus test that every person when examined through the scope of that lens, must pass, prior to us entrusting them as friends, brothers or sisters! Here is the Scripture that these fundamental truths about friendships have been gleaned from. 

” There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 NLT 

•  A true friend has your back and does not abandon you in difficult times
•  A true friend does not tear you down or destroy you but uplifts you 
•  A best friend helps bring out the best in you 
•  Like family, a true friend accepts and loves you despite your differences 

Do your friends often disappoint you? Do they put you down all the time? Do they abandon you when you need them most? If you said yes to any of these, it might just be time to find some real sisters and brothers. Life is hard enough, even with the right people in our corner. It is even harder to do with the wrong ones!

I understand, this may seem to contradict our Scripture of the month where God commands us to love our brothers and sisters to prove our love for Him.

” Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And He has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. ” 1 John 4:20-21 NIV

Why cut off people when God commands us to love them? It’s straightforward. With some, who border the line of friend or foe, it is easier, better, and wiser to love them from afar than to be entangled in a one-sided friendship. This kind of relationship, as Proverbs 18:24 states, will eventually lead to the destruction of one friend or another, and destruction is solely a fruit of hate and not of love! Rather than forcing yourself to be friends with someone who would rather be your foe, do the wise thing and let them go because that too can be done out of love!